Monday, May 17, 2010 '

my dream and wish

(sorry for my grammar, my english is still a work in progress)

I'm a graduate of University of the East, College of Business Administration, Bachelor of Science major in Accountancy. You might say "so what?". To some, it is quite an achievement, being one of the toughest courses with the toughest board exam, because not everybody is privileged to finish their studies, some can't even GO to college. My point? I should be happy right? Well I somewhat am, but there's something's missing. Its a cliche but its true.

I started to wonder about that when my dad had a problem a while ago. His external drive malfunctioned. It's a simple problem but its a big deal for him. You see, since I have so much in common with my dad, I can understand how he's feeling now. He literally can't sleep until he had it all figured out. My dad's problem became my problem too. I don't know, I just can't leave him alone having a hard time figuring things out. I just want him to relax, sleep early ( it's almost 1am), so I'm trying to help him as much as possible. The ED still won't budge! My brain's all hazy trying to figure things out too, my hands started working on search engine for Stargate hardrive (the brand/system) and how much it costs. I can't seem to fine the right size which is 850G but I found the next best thing, a 320G from enigma, but it costs 3.5Kphp. I don't have work nor savings, my budget is still controlled by my parents, so I'm trying to think how to get that money. These things came to mind:

Do Autoload, I have a 2K as my "savings" i can start there
Borrow from my sister then pay her back
Cut my own allowance to half

I figured I'll do the first and the last. It'll be a perfect father'd day gift!

Connection? This little situation kind of lead me back from when I was a kid. I always want my parents to be proud of me, but I keep on failing them over and over and over... of course I was a kid back then, so I don' know what's the problem. Now that I think about it, it seems I'm having a hard time trying to MAKE THEM HAPPY and at the same time, trying to MAKE MYSELF HAPPY. Whenever I'm achieveing the first one I'm failing at the other. I have this problem of concentrating on one thing and neglecting the rest. Not a multi-tasker.

What they want is not what I want.

It's too late for complaining. Now that I figured it out (somehow.... I think), i just want to make THEM happy. I can't be selfish now can I? Dad's in his 60s, mom in 50s, they're too old to give them problems, (i know saying this in english is hard but in Filipino "matanda na sila para bigyan sila ng problema"). I just want them to say, "I'M HAPPY" or "I'M PROUD OF YOU" before they go. (Oh God I'm crying and can't see much of what I'm typing) Sometimes I pray to God that I want Him to take me first because I won't be able to take it if they went first. Oh God I love them too much, I'll fight for them, I'll die for them, but all I cant do for them now is make them happy. That will be my dream and wish.

I can't write any more than this, If do I'll go crazy, besides I can't the screen anymore. And I doubt anyone will read this.

2:00 AM My World My Life
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Friday, May 14, 2010 '

testing

using flock blog editor ;)

Blogged with the Flock Browser

4:45 PM My World My Life
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kayo ba ni ano?

ni ano? hahaha

Ask me anything

2:26 AM My World My Life
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What was the most interesting place you've traveled to?

that would be Singapore :)

Ask me anything

2:19 AM My World My Life
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Wednesday, May 5, 2010 '

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/aikz

6:35 PM My World My Life
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Saturday, April 17, 2010 '

Love! Love! Love!

Ehdz my roomate once told me, after hearing a JB song "Eeenie Meenie", that the song fits me well. Well, after listening to it many times over, I figured, I really am an eenie meenie miny mo lova.

Love has really been avoiding me, or is it the other way around? Somehow I know that love is just right around the corner. It is I that is not turning to that corner. Maybe I'm just afraid. But, afraid of what? I really don't know myself. Maybe I'm just picky. But what's wrong with it. Maybe my standard's too high. Thinking about it, my standard's just basic.

Much as I'm frustrated now, I don't much like where my lovelife's going either. Now that I'm done with college, I'm wishing for that something, that every human soul longs for.

It made me realize that, having relationships come in time, not love. Love is just there, sometimes you don't know you're already in love!

12:24 AM My World My Life
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Saturday, April 10, 2010 '

survey for now

since I pimped my blog... i'll do survey first ayt?

What do you do when you're nervous?
think hard... fret... release looong sighs

What do you do when you're frustrated?
punch pillows/walls, pinch someone

If you're biting your lip, what does that usually mean about your mood?
a lot of things haha

How are you usually feeling when you cross your arms?
bored... laid back haha

What's your mood if you are more quiet then usual?
stressed... or thinking a lot of things

When you're fidgeting with your hands/other things?
maybe I've done something

How do you sit when you're totally relaxed?
feet up, indian, anyhow!

What do you do when you want to everyone to know to leave you alone?
just... tell them?? or just be reeeaaallllyyyy quiet

What do you do when you're with a crush/someone you're flirting with?
talk about something that interest them :)

What does it mean when you tap/shake your foot?
impatient

What do you do when you're feeling insecure?
ponder why am i like this??

Your People
Who makes you laugh the most?
ERIKO

Who has the cutest smile?
Him... my enchong dee

Who has the dorkiest/worst laugh?
me? hahaha

Who do you think would ditch you in a heartbeat for someone else?
my bestfriend

Who are you totally comfortable with talking about anything?
ehdz...

Who annoys the heck out of you but you put up with it anyways?
i don't know...

Who do you know loves you unconditionally?
my family

Who do you love unconditionally?
my family

Who do you miss most right now?
my friends... i've been pretty stuck here at home

Who do you hang around most?
genixon and ehdz

Just General
How many days until your birthday?
iono

Do people often pronounce your name incorrectly?
oh yeah... my nickname that is... aikz becomes ice

Do plastic plants annoy you?
i don't really care

Did you help pick out your mousepad?
i don't use mousepad

What's your worst habit in class?
not listening

What is your religion?
i am roman catholic :D

Do you have pets?
i do... 2 dogs

Do you think people are too materialistic?
haha yeah, but who cares?

Do you paint your nails?
yeah i do sometimes,

Do you like thinking about the future?
ALWAYS

Right Now
What are you listening to right now?
justin bieber... haizt

Are you wearing jewelry?
nope! :)

Are you talking to/IMing someone?
nope :)

Are you wearing socks?
naaaah

10:53 PM My World My Life
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